Wes and Lori Truman
The dates and details!
What are your
names?
Lori
and Wes Truman
When did you meet?
August
1999
In 8 words or less,
describe where or how you met.
Y
group - freshmen orientation BYU
What was your first
date?
Attending
general conference in SLC
When were you
married?
12/21/2002
Where were you
married?
Bountiful
Temple
How many children do you
share?
2
Getting to Know You!
What is something that
your spouse does (something they may not even realize!) that makes your heart
skip a beat and brings you joy.
"Reminiscing"
seems like a funny answer, but I loved how Wes always wanted to talk about and
remember the important moments and memories of our love story.
"Remembering when" was something he did casually but consistently
from our courtship days on. It wasn't about remembering specific dates. I'm
sure he didn't know the date of our first kiss or our first anything, but it
was typical for him to randomly or off-handedly mention his favorite memories
of me and us, and hearing him share those "remember when..." comments
always made me feel cherished.
What is one of your
favorite dates you've been on as a couple?
I
remember early courtship dates like tandem biking, and playing board games in
the rain (under cover of a bus pavilion). I remember a long fall hike our first
year of marriage during which we discussed all our financial plans and goals. I
remember another early-marriage date making s'mores around a backyard campfire
and mentally planning the blueprints of our future dream house. None of those
early ambitions ever became realities for a myriad of reasons, but I cherish
the memories of dreaming together. I remember a winter date sometime during our
life-with-tiny-kids days when we intended to go somewhere, or do something, but
ended up just sitting in our heated car and talking. I remember an afternoon
date to the duck pond during cancer treatment days, walking hand-in-hand along
the water's edge, composing a verbal list of favorite things that had happened
during an otherwise difficult month. I remember our very last date, me pushing
Wes's wheelchair through rows of May tulips in our favorite Provo park. The
tears that fall steadily as I reflect on these (and a million like) moments
bespeak the truth that time is truly the most treasured gift we ever give or
receive.
What's the best gift
you've received from your spouse?
Besides
time, letters and cards. I remember often straining to write those myself
during our married years - each time a birthday or holiday rolled around, I
felt like my words became more and more redundant - but I"m grateful Wes
never gave up the practice. His written words are treasures to me now, and
provide a way to share his voice with our children.
Why Marriage Rocks
Tell us about a trial
you have faced together and how you feel you were successful in overcoming it,
or what you have learned during it.
I
remember when Wes was on his mission and I was missing him, Elder Holland came
to BYU and shared his hallmark address, "How do I love thee?"
(https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jeffrey-r-holland_how-do-i-love-thee/). Hearing
Elder Holland's words about charity struck me then and have helped me ever
since. True love, "suffereth long, and is kind." True love,
"beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things." Wes's cancer and death have resulted in a separation that often
feels unbearable. But those scriptural words about charity continue to play in
my heart: True love beareth, believeth, hopeth, endureth. Eternally. The
ability to bear, and believe, and hope, and endure, is a gift from the Savior
who has overcome what I cannot and never could dream of overcoming
independently: physical death. Because of the Savior and the promises/truths of
His gospel (including the reality of the spirit world, the eventuality of
resurrection, and the eternality of family), I feel that Wes and I can unitedly
bear, and believe, and hope, and endure through a separation that we can't
actually overcome on a mortal timetable.
What blessings have come
into your life because of marriage?
A
million blessings! Especially, especially children.
What miracles have you
experienced together?
We
experienced the medical miracles of prolonged time together, and a second baby
when that seemed impossible. We experienced the miracle of friends and family
helping to carry and truly, miraculously lightening our physical and emotional
burdens. And countless times since Wes's passing, I have experienced the
private miracle of receiving tangible peace and comfort from the Holy Ghost.
Peace that "passeth all understanding," and comfort that assures me
I'm not alone.
Advice
What's a practice or routine
you've established that keeps your marriage healthy?
Personal
repentance :). Daily, sincere, individual, private repentance. When two people
try consistently to grow closer to God, they grow, inevitably, closer to each
other.
What's one principle you
think is important in a healthy marriage?
My
parents once wrote a marriage contract full of great wisdom. All the principles
are valuable, but a phrase that I especially love is: "When I am happy
with you, I will tell the world. When I am unhappy with you, I will tell only
you. If I genuinely need help, I will confide in someone who can give aid
rather than someone who will just agree with me."
What's the secret of a
happy marriage?
I
think appreciation and gratitude...looking for, and acknowledging, all the good
in your spouse. Even when the good you find is different than the good you were
expecting or wanting in the moment.
"While our individual salvation is based on our individual obedience, it is equally important that we understand that we are each an important and integral part of a family and the highest blessings can be received only within an eternal family. When families are functioning as designed by God, the relationships found therein are the most valued of mortality. The plan of the Father is that family love and companionship will continue into the eternities" (Robert D. Hales, The Eternal Family, 1996).
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