Walking the Line

Before 1987, the names Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo would cause goosies to run up and down the arms of the world's finest art historians and humanities enthusiasts. After 1987 every costume maker from here to China and back could bank on a nice spike in profits during halloween. All they had to do was manufacture enough Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes to clothe every aspiring Mikey, Raph, Donatello and Leo out there. I know my husband was Leonardo for Halloween in 2nd grade. I may have never dressed up as a turtle, but I did go to the theater on opening day in 1990 to watch my generations beloved action figures come to life on the big screen. My friend had invited me to go with her to the matinee and had asked if I could walk home with her after school. I wasn't a mutant ninja die hard (I only had sisters, so Barbie was more our thing) but I had never gone to this friend's house--so I could feign Turtle fandom for a day. It was a big deal for me to walk paths unknown, just me and her, as a 7 year old. I was following her lead down the sidewalk when she decided to jump out into the road and walk on the yellow divider lines. I was near mortified, certain this gifted independence from my parents would never happen again. I could feel panic rising in my throat like radioactive goo through a turtles veins. Then soothsaying and rationalization quieted my qualms and enticed me to the middle. "Cars aren't allowed to cross the yellow lines. It's the safest place to walk because no car can drive here." My friends logic seemed undeniable. Plus imagine the adrenaline and conceived invincibility to outwit any adult who may be driving or walking on the sidewalk. The yellow line was a perfect balance beam for me as I lived on the edge. Regardless of our stupidity, we made it to her house alive and her mom took us to the theater. Everyone was there, and you know what's it like to be one of everybody. It was a good day.
Have I ever walked the yellow line since that day? Nothing sticks out. I think away from the influence of my friend I could recognize that the yellow line was no miracle safety zone. As a driver now, I have certainly touched and crossed over the yellow line numerous times. But when I was 7, it seemed so safe. Truly a solid yellow line is meant as a barrier where no car should cross. But 10 times out of 10 in a fight between a car and a person, the car will always win. What are the yellow lines in our marriages? Are there deceptively false safe zones? Do we let influences outside our marriage tempt us away from safety? There are outside influences attacking marriages from every angle. When we think of these influences objectively we know they are dangerous or stupid. But if we stray from the sidewalk and listen to the call of the yellow line, we will find ourselves with puffed up chests feeling invincible. That will only last until a car wins the next battle, and often times that will come from behind and blindside us. What are those areas that we need to stay away from? I think it is different and personal to each marriage. Some examples may be pornography, contentious name calling, infidelity, one-sided financial blunders, poor health habits; the list is endless. I think we can all identify danger zones. When we do, we need to step back, look at the inside of our marriage, and decide to walk on the sidewalk.  Set screen time limits and keep your computer in an open spot, eliminate negative words, avoid being alone with members of the opposite gender, set financial goals together, support each other in healthy lifestyle choices. The solutions you can find will also be endless as you work together to stay safe. I know that if I do not put myself in a compromising situation, I never have to be trapped in one. Perhaps we never believed turtles could become ninjas, perhaps my friend thought walking the line would always be safe. But, there are certain lines that we do not need to walk, no matter how safe you may think it could be.