The hills of life

Living in a small community is an experience I wish everyone could have at least once in life. It affords a bond and sense of community and helps to create individual awareness and an increased sense of self confidence and worth. When I was in 7^th grade my family moved to Alamogordo, New Mexico. It was a small town in my parents’ mind (both being from Southern California), and so it was a small town in my mind. Ironically enough, I now live in a town of 2,000; whereas, Alamo’s population was upwards of 30,000. Even so, it did have that home town feel with unique traditions that seem to only live in storybooks and Hallmark movies. And the community was strong. In fact, I was running track for the junior high and had just won the 800m by a hefty distance. Coach Burns, the High School cross country coach approached me and invited me to run cross country when I entered high school. A personal invitation was all it took for me to commit to a sport I had basically never heard of. And that is just where I found myself a year and a half after my first conversation with Coach Burns.

I truly enjoyed my cross country experience. But let me just tell you about hill repeat day. There was a hill that started at the city batting cages and went up to the water tower. It was a paved road. It was one mile long. It was summer. In New Mexico. And the workout was repeats. As in more than one. As in up the hill a mile, down the hill, then repeat. And when you say repeat as a cross country coach (of which I find myself in the position of now) it means full effort. It is a grueling, painful, intimidating obligation. It is a task that mustn’t be avoided but is oh so dreaded. But, it has to be done. And so did it I would. Coach Burns would wait patiently at the bottom of the hill, with a smile on his face, encouraging words ready for us upon our descent. And so it made it all worth it.

The Honeymoon phase is certainly the most carefree and delightful part of a marriage. No stress, no worries, no work. Just two happy lovebirds playing their hearts out. Historically the Honeymoon lasted for one month. One month out of 50+years of marriages. That is a smidgen of time. The majority of your marriage will be filled with work, church responsibilities, service, kids, teams, meetings, chores, civic duties, yard work, etc etc etc. A lot of these tasks can be done together. Eric and I love going to watch our kids sporting events together. We don’t love chores, but they are much more fun when we put on some good music and work together. We absolutely love going out and visiting our neighbors and community members. But there are certain hills that must be run alone. When those hills come into our marriage we cannot let them divide us. With practice and determination we can focus on loving our spouse for all of his or her goodness in spite of his or her obligations to be away from us. In other words: be supportive. Not just in the fun hobbies or interests your spouse may have, but in the hard duties and obligations they have too. Eric was called to serve as the Bishop or our ward. When he began his service I had other bishops’ wives warn me about the late nights and long phone calls and missed time with family. In that moment, I promised myself that no matter how late, or how lonely I felt, or what family event he had to miss, I would always drop what I was doing and physically run to greet him with open arms and a smile on my face. This has been such a blessing to us. I can empathize with the feelings of frustration or loneliness or bitterness that could come up when our spouse has to attend to outside obligations. But those feelings should not be directed toward our spouse. We can choose to support them and love them as they push during their uphill repeats. Chances are they know how grueling, painful and intimidating their duties are. They are going to be happy to finish. And they’ll be even happier to find you there happy to see them, as #1 cheerleader. We don’t have to love the hill, but we do love the workout. Support each other and remember to focus on the joy that comes from a job well done. Especially in the hills of our lives.