Marriage Rocks
Marriage is such a beautiful action word. A wedding is a one time occurrence. The reception after is a short lived party. But the marriage--that is something that happens everyday, over and over again. Like a muscle; condition it, tone it, strengthen it. Like a second language; use it or lose it. Like a seed in the ground; nurture it, water it, tend to it and it will grow and bear beautiful fruit. Sometimes it takes trial and error. Sometimes it comes naturally. Sometimes you need a little spark.
Eric and I were newly weds. Our honeymoon phase was going strong. The bliss and happiness was endless. My best friend had come to visit us. She had already been married for 3 years. THREE YEARS! I still remember as a newly wed knowing that they were basically experts, because THREE YEARS! She was in her phase of marriage in which newlyweds were kind of disgusting. She was forcefully and reminiscently tolerant of our ever ebullient mushy-gushy. She counseled me that marriage was wonderful, and it was the biggest blessing in her life...but that it was a lot of hard work. Eric and I kindly nodded and agreed to tackle the hard work ahead of us together. Julie Beck taught, "Families mean work, but they are our great work--and we are not afraid of work" (Beck, Oct 2007).
And so we went off on a journey. Honeymoon phase turned into first year anniversary, which turned into first pregnancy, which turned into first time parents, which turned into second pregnancy and just like that we had been married THREE YEARS. And I always remembered what my saged friend had said. Her warning about the hard work that was ahead for us. And so one day I asked Eric if it had been hard, or if it had been work, or if it had even been hard work. And we both agreed that it really hadn't felt like that at all.
Now that's not to say I disagreed with my best friend. There is a lot of work involved in marriage. There are a lot of hard things that you do. And to be prepared for it was the nicest gift she could have given us. But we absolutely loved it. It reminds me of the old adage, "Find a job you love doing, and you'll never work a day in your life." Never a day had gone by up to that point, nor has it since, that I have regretted being married. I have never once thought, "Man, this would be so much easier without HIM around."
Of all the action words in the world, marriage is my favorite. As much as I love it, it is still an action. So there are ups and downs and fine-tunings and readjustments. But we make those together and we love that companionship. We have now been married fourteen years. And I still check with Eric occasionally to see if it's hard. And we still just love our relationship and all that it brings our way. We've found some oil for our machine. And we want to share it, just in case we ever need a reminder of what a good spark feels like. My hope is, that by sharing some of the principles we have found which are important and that lead to a feeling of success and happiness in marriage that it can keep us moving forward. Because after all, marriage is the best kind of hard work there is.
Eric and I were newly weds. Our honeymoon phase was going strong. The bliss and happiness was endless. My best friend had come to visit us. She had already been married for 3 years. THREE YEARS! I still remember as a newly wed knowing that they were basically experts, because THREE YEARS! She was in her phase of marriage in which newlyweds were kind of disgusting. She was forcefully and reminiscently tolerant of our ever ebullient mushy-gushy. She counseled me that marriage was wonderful, and it was the biggest blessing in her life...but that it was a lot of hard work. Eric and I kindly nodded and agreed to tackle the hard work ahead of us together. Julie Beck taught, "Families mean work, but they are our great work--and we are not afraid of work" (Beck, Oct 2007).
And so we went off on a journey. Honeymoon phase turned into first year anniversary, which turned into first pregnancy, which turned into first time parents, which turned into second pregnancy and just like that we had been married THREE YEARS. And I always remembered what my saged friend had said. Her warning about the hard work that was ahead for us. And so one day I asked Eric if it had been hard, or if it had been work, or if it had even been hard work. And we both agreed that it really hadn't felt like that at all.
Now that's not to say I disagreed with my best friend. There is a lot of work involved in marriage. There are a lot of hard things that you do. And to be prepared for it was the nicest gift she could have given us. But we absolutely loved it. It reminds me of the old adage, "Find a job you love doing, and you'll never work a day in your life." Never a day had gone by up to that point, nor has it since, that I have regretted being married. I have never once thought, "Man, this would be so much easier without HIM around."
Of all the action words in the world, marriage is my favorite. As much as I love it, it is still an action. So there are ups and downs and fine-tunings and readjustments. But we make those together and we love that companionship. We have now been married fourteen years. And I still check with Eric occasionally to see if it's hard. And we still just love our relationship and all that it brings our way. We've found some oil for our machine. And we want to share it, just in case we ever need a reminder of what a good spark feels like. My hope is, that by sharing some of the principles we have found which are important and that lead to a feeling of success and happiness in marriage that it can keep us moving forward. Because after all, marriage is the best kind of hard work there is.
Comments
Post a Comment